The past 8 days have almost been a blur for me. I've been going through a ton of emotional crap that I won't even get into. I've realized that everything I am doing is an attempt to transform myself. I'm obviously not happy with a bunch of things in my life (but in reality, is anyone ever completely happy with everything?) but the one thing I have the most control over is myself. My body, my feelings, how I react to things...all of that is controlled by me. I can't let anyone else determine these things for me and I won't. I've been feeling very crappy about myself lately. I feel like I've just let myself go to the point of no return.
I got a scale today. I haven't weighed myself in about 3 months, but I figure if I'm going to try and be healthier I should at least try and keep track of weight, right? So I opened that package up right away and stepped on the thing even though I know it wasn't really the proper time to weigh myself. The results were borderline heartbreaking. I saw a number higher than any number I have ever seen on any scale I have stepped on. It's really interesting how that can ruin your self-esteem in a flash. Like the past three months of me feeling great and fantastic about myself has just been flushed down the drain....all because of a stupid 3 digit number. I know I shouldn't cave and I shouldn't stop thinking that "weight is nothing but a number, how you feel is really what counts" but that's easier said that done. I guess on the plus side, at least I now have something else to work for.
Alright, enough stupid depressing stuff! Back to the point of this blog. I HAVE OFFICIALLY STARTED MY 5K TRAINING!!! I'm super pumped, I went running today and yesterday and the workouts really aren't as hard as I thought they'd be....they are still kind of a struggle though considering I don't run. I'm totally looking forward to the rest of those work outs.
2 down, 28 more to go!
No comments:
Post a Comment